Birthday, birthday. it’s my birthday.

According to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything. This morning when I woke up with zero recollection of how I got home from last night’s staff party this was not necessarily the first thought I had, but after a long sleep-in, shooting a few cups of coffee and detoxing with a hot bath, it did occur to me. Can I be hopeful? I’m going with yes. Even though it was confirmed last night by friends that I have officially reached the age where people don’t recognize me in pictures of me when I was young. Yeah. That happened.

I remember dreading my 40th birthday. I hated the idea of aging, and something about that particular number made my blood run cold. Maybe I knew what was coming the following year. Diagnosed with cancer not quite 3 months after my 40th birthday changed my perspective on aging. The two birthdays I have had since have been met with gratitude, not dread. I get to have another birthday.

This is my sister and me, at my 40th birthday. Totally oblivious about what was going on in my body.

This is my sister and me, at my 40th birthday. Totally oblivious about what was going on in my body.

Last night was my staff party, and I kind of made it into an extension of my birthday celebration, because, well – why not? Needless to say I was in bed, tucked in by one of my besties by 11:01pm. She even made sure to tuck me in and leave me with a glass of water by my bedside. I really hope everyone else had as good a time as I did. From what I’m told, there was even some sort of meditation.

Apparently meditating between feeds of risotto balls. Or something like that.

Apparently meditating between feeds of risotto balls. Or something like that.

Anyway. back to this morning. Glorious, decadent sleep-in, bubble bath and caffeination, (and yes I think that’s a made-up word) later, I got to pick up my boys and bring them out to my parents’ place on the lake and feast on venison sausage, bacon, eggs, pineapple and more coffee. And my Dad being the Dad he is, took my kids out to purchase a gift for my birthday for me from them. And it was awesome.

Apparently they all agreed that it was a 'Tanya colour'. They were right. (Yay to being over my post-chemo aversion to red!)

Apparently they all agreed that it was a ‘Tanya colour’. They were right. (Yay to being over my post-chemo aversion to red!)

My parents gave me what might be the most perfect card ever, and I’m a picky card-chooser. I may have teared up a bit. Because it was lovely.

Black and white, and birds, and such a lovely message, really. I actually think illness makes us more willing to make our sentiments more naked. I am grateful for that.

Black and white, and birds, and such a lovely message, really. I actually think illness makes us more willing to make our sentiments more naked. I am grateful for that.

IMG_3951

Such loveliness. So lucky.

This afternoon, I had a near-moment of feeling sorry for myself because I was going to be ‘alone’ on my birthday. And then I got two phone calls from friends of my life, one a while-cooking FaceTime, and I looked at the gazillion well-wishes I received today on Facebook, and I realized that ‘alone’ is not an adjective I could ever apply to myself. Also, I decided that regardless of the fact that I’ve made a decision to lose the weight I’ve been calling my ‘investment weight’ because surgery isn’t likely to happen until April or May (that’s an entirely different blog post) and I haven’t had a carb since last Saturday (well. There were probably some at the staff party.) I decided to give me and the boys comfort food, which for me is pasta, to celebrate. I also must admit to giving myself another Happy Birthday to Me gift, because, well, I’m really happy to have another birthday, and so this painting kept us company at dinner tonight. It’s my favourite colour of night, and everything that I love about lakes and tree stands on one canvas, and I’m really happy with it.

Full moon, favourite colour of night, and woods. I am so pleased with it! Also, dinner with my favourite boys. It should be noted that they were laughing because between the moment when I asked them not to touch anything before the picture was taken, there was a spilled water glass. Such is my life. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

Full moon, favourite colour of night, and woods. I am so pleased with it! Also, dinner with my favourite boys. It should be noted that they were laughing because between the moment when I asked them not to touch anything before the picture was taken, there was a spilled water glass. Such is my life. Wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Texts, phonecalls, messages, e-mails from those far-away, and even packages in the mail. I feel like the luckiest girl (well. Woman would probably be more appropriate at 42) in the galaxy.

Maybe the Hitchhiker had it right. Here’s hoping.

Advertisements

One thought on “Birthday, birthday. it’s my birthday.

  1. Happy Birthday Tanya.
    Your dread of turning 40 is spooky. I spent the entire year leading up to my 40th thinking I’d do anything to have it not happen.
    Then…in less than a month later my Dad passed away. He was probably my best friend.
    I thought afterwards, it’s like I knew something was going to happen.
    I wish you a wonderful year and good health.
    Karen

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s